Kendall has decided, after I spent hours researching how to make an Ariel costume, to be a vampire for Halloween. Ick. I wanted her to be something pretty! But her mind will not be changed. So... A pretty vampire she shall be! Lol. I decided she needed a custom cape... So... I spent about 8 hours making one lol. It came out alright, but I clearly don't know what I'm doing when it comes to seeing. Oh, well... I tried! Lol
Today I spent the afternoon in Blake's class helping his teacher with a few things. The kids were so much fun! I enjoyed helping them with their "Past, Present and Future" projects and then with their science experiment that resulted in them making pancakes! I wish I was in second grade! Tonight is the learning carnival at the school. Kendall was disappointed to find out there will not be any cakes given away (ie the cake walk). She said she thought there'd be cake. Instead she just has to do learning activities. Boo! Lol
Ok, so I found a website www.100daysofrealfood.com that I've found to be really helpful in my quest to eat clean. I went to the store today. While I felt like I spent a sufficient amount, I unloaded everything and still had nothing to eat. It's starting to click within me that this eating clean deal involves me creating snack foods, not buying them Pre-made and full of preservatives and chemicals. So, I'm attaching a picture of a recipe that I intend to make today. Let's hope these are tasty! I love Cheez-Its and I'm hoping this will be a good alternative.
Kendall has professed that she will no longer be wearing hair bows. She absolutely refuses :(. Well, she will wear korker bows (the curly bows), so... Ok, I'll start baking yards and yards of ribbon in order to make those curls. Until then, I have tons of other ribbon to use up, so let the bow making show go on!
So, I tried something new tonight... Cauliflower pizza crust! Blake ate three pieces and I like it pretty well. Kendall, on the other hand, won't eat it. I think I didn't get the crust cooked enough, but the outer part of the crust was scorching... I might try to wring more moisture out of the cauliflower next time and make it a bit thinner. The taste is pretty good, though.
My friend Courtney had a baby girl last year and I gave her all of Kendall's cute baby clothes. She recently returned them and Kendall and I went through them all. It was so fun looking at her tiny stuff! Even her first swim suit was in there... So sweet! We picked out a few things for Vickie and got her all dressed up. She's in size 3-6 months lol.
So, I bought a book recently called "The Eat Clean Diet". It's basically helpful in getting back to the roots of how people really should eat-- naturally, wholly and preservative-free. I've been working hard at this and have lost about 6 lbs. my goal is to ultimately lose 40, but one day at a time. Anyway, I've been reading this book and researching eating clean recipes and have managed to cut a large amount of sugar out of my diet. I'm cooking and preparing a lot more than ever, but since I can't find a job, what else do I have to do? I've added chia seeds, quinoa Greek yogurt and homemade granola to my diet, among other things. I've also started the C25K program. It eases you into running a 5K. I'm on week 4 of the process right now. I'll be skinny and running a 5K before you know it! Anyway, I've enjoyed reading this book, but it's sort of been put to the side for the first book in the set-- The Hunger Games. I can't put it down! Jordan got the movie and I've watched it about 6 times (you really find yourself watching a lot of movies when you don't have cable or Internet lol). I recommend it! The book reads quickly and easily. It seems as though the movie stayed pretty true to the book, which I like. I'm excited to get to the second book since I'm dying to know what happens next and they're not putting another movie out until next year!
Here's a recipe for a snack I've enjoyed:
1 cup Medjool prunes, pitted
2 cups raw cashews
Step 1 – Place the nuts and date in a food processor and blend until it turns into a solid lump of dough. This can take a few minutes, so be patient.
Step 2 – Using small amounts, roll the dough into 1/2 inch balls and then roll in the topping of your choice (coconut, chia seeds, flax seed meal, etc). Refrigerate.
These little treats have helped me manage my sweet tooth. One or two of them and I'm good to go! They're really quite yummy!
We had a trip to the dentist today! The kids did really well! We'd been told that Kendall had three cavities, so I told the dr that... He said whoever told me that should study up a little more because Kendall has no cavities!!!! She got four sealants and will go back in two weeks for four more. She was freaking out a little, so they did as many as they could. Blake, on the other hand, has a cavity!!!!! I couldn't believe it! He got sealants today and will go back in two weeks to get his filling! Yikes! Both kids have been talking about whether or not they'll have to get shots in the mouth since last week lol. Luckily, that didn't have to happen!!!! Over all, they have good, clean teeth!
Blake had his friend River over to spend the night this weekend. In the morning, we went to the kids' school so they could play on the play ground. The boys were busy digging a cricket dungeon while Kendall and I played.
You know, I'm really starting to get sick of the way I'm treated by Bryce. I really am. My texts get ignored when I ask simple questions regarding money situations (ie late child support or how we're going to pay for day care). If I call, my calls are ignored and messages are not returned. Emails go ignored as well. Why? I don't get it. I've done everything I can to involve him. I invite him to functions at the kids' schools. I ask his opinion on important questions regarding the kids. Hell, I moved 5 minutes away from him when where I really belong is back in Kansas so I can get some flippin help, just so his lazy ass would spend more time with the kids!
I was looking back through emails and ran across the one pictured in which Bryce outlines the three weeks in the summer he would be taking the kids. You can see my email to him was kind and diplomatic. I'd like to note that he spent one week with the kids this summer. One. In July. And then paid child support a week late, making my rent late (as he did this month as well. Not sure when the 4th became the first) because he said he had to take the week off with no pay. Not really sure why I'm the one who has to suffer because he can't budget. So, I guess instead of trying to work something out with me or finding child care as I must do when I have the kids and need to do something during the day, he just forfeited his time without so much as a word to me. Luckily, the kids do not know that this time is scheduled and they're not let down.
There has been a lot of frustration and tension as far as Bryce goes. He paid child support late and refused to answer my texts all weekend when I asked what was going on. I asked him to send cash so Kendall could have breakfast with her class at school. He would not do so. Yet, when he texts me, I'm expected to jump. Wed nights, he is entitled to two hours with the kids from 6-8. He texted me at 1:30 and asked if he could get them at 5. I got busy and didn't respond. Sssoooo... 6:15 rolls around and no Bryce. I assumed he just wasn't coming. The kids were in tears! They called him and he TOLD THEM that I didn't respond to his text, so he didn't come. Uummm... Ok. Father of the year. I never said anything about him picking them up at 5, but it still should have been assumed he'd get them at 6!!! They asked him to come get them and he did. THEN he told them if they hadn't eaten dinner already at my house, he would have taken them to GattiTown for pizza and games. Um... Why not just ask them if they've eaten first AND THEN mention GattiTown if they haven't??? I had two kids mad at me when they got home for making them dinner. Um, they have to eat by 6. They get too hungry if they don't and they're normally in bed before 8, so dinner needs to happen by 6.
I'm just ssooo over the lack of communication. I try. I really do, but it's not reciprocated. He communicates nothing with me, asks me no questions, nothing. Half of the questions I ask go unanswered or answered very shortly. I'm sure his excuse is that I'm a bitch to him. Yep... I sure am when he messes with me. Otherwise, I'm pretty damn easy to get along with. But you know what? I'm tired of trying. It benefits me zero to mother him and make sure he shows up to events like Donuts with Dads at Blake's school (which he slept through one year and I had to take Blake). There's a school event calendar online. He can figure it out himself. I had to baby his ass for nine years. I'm not anymore. He's 38 and lives with his enabling mother, let her spoon feed his lazy ass. I'm over it. No more. No more pics, no more of him taking the kids on my time, no more reminders about school events... Nothing. The kids will see him for what he is one day. I just have to sit back and wait for it to happen. In the meantime, they have a positive male role model in their lives. Jordan makes sure they have shoes when Bryce tells me he won't help me buy them. He makes sure I can pay rent when Bryce refuses to return my texts asking when his check will be here. He helps me talk to Blake when he's having discipline issues and Bryce refuses to communicate with me and help me by speaking to Blake about his disrespectfulness to his mother. So, if any man is willing to sit back and be lazy and let another man fill his shoes, that so called "man" is the only one who is losing. He's the only one missing out. It may be easy now to be lazy and the kids still love you and want to be around you, but I promise that one day they'll see it all. I won't have to try to make excuses for their father anymore. They'll see it and he'll pay the price. HE WILL PAY THE PRICE.
So, I sold my plasma today. It was a lot like donating blood, which I do often, there was just a lot more hassle and a nice treat at the end in the form of a Visa gift card :). I'm sure it looks like all fun and games over here, I try to keep it as light on the kids as possible, but truth be told, life hasn't been too great. On May 9th, I received my final Unemployment check. Even though I had more than $5,000 left in my acct to get me through the summer, the state made cut backs and every one on extended benefits was cut off. I had no warning. I just moved into this new house and I was screwed. Somehow, I've managed to make things work and rent is current and we have food on the table. That's about it. Summer daycare, not including registration fees for both kids would have run me $1200/mo. I had very little cooperation from Bryce. Anytime I brought it up, I was ignored. If I made a phone call, it was not returned. I really had no choice but to stay home with the kids and rough it out. It's been really sucky. Really sucky. We've still managed to have thrifty fun and Jordan has footed a lot of the entertainment bill. I've had so much help from family and I'm grateful. I know everyone works hard for what they have and to share with us is very humbling. I hate asking and receiving, I just don't know what else to do.
Now that both kiddos are in school, I'm spending my time trying to find a job. I don't have Internet at home, so that is definitely a challenge. I can do some on my phone and I do some from the library or the kids' school. I had one phone interview with an urgent care center last week that went well. I'm hoping to get a face-to-face interview soon. I'm optimistic that I'll find something soon! If not, I don't know what I'm going to do! I'm sssoooo sick of living like this!
I ordered a new book last week. I haven't received it yet, but I'm very excited to get it. It's a book about eating clean. I want to get back to our roots and start eating real, minimally processed foods. I'm seeing weight gain in myself and Blake that scares me. It's time to make some permanent changes for our health. I'll let you know how it goes! I'm also training to run a 5K. I'd like to sign up for one in Oct, but that's a pretty busy month, so maybe November. We'll see. I tried to get Blake to do the running program with me, but nnnooooo. He wouldn't. He's a lot like his dad with the "no" business. I wonder if an instant negative response to everything asked of you is genetic. Hhmm...
Anyway, so, I'll be selling my plasma a lot more. It's no big deal. Pretty cool to think I have money just running through my veins waiting to be tapped into! Ha!
(And had to include a few pics, of course)
While sitting and waiting for Blake to get out of school (Kendall gets out at 1:45 and Blake at 2:45), I was trying to submit job applications using the school's Internet while Kendall was in the back seat entertaining herself. At one point, I had to get onto her for trying to climb into the back window ledge deal. Uh. Yeah. Apparently that made her mad, so she got me back. I don't know why she does this stuff, but it's all day every day and it seems to get worse when there are changes in her life (ie starting school). Lord help this sweet, sweet child and her momma!
I had Back to School Night for Blake tonight (PreK doesn't do it). I got to sit in his seat and meet other parents and listen to his teacher talk about their classroom and the neat things they'll be doing this year. Blake's teacher seems to be great! She's energetic, interested in her students, smart, loves science, funny... I think Blake is going to have an excellent year! I took some pictures of some of the things he's been working on in class so far. Precious! (I'm really going to have to work on his spelling lol)
Blake lost a tooth on Wed. He always likes to write a note to the Tooth Fairy. This time, he requested a pic and she came through for him! So cute! He was SO excited! He wanted me to show Jordan and his dad. I sent the pic to Bryce and he ignored it. Blake wanted me to call Jordan, so we did. Blake was sssoooo excited! It was so fun for me! The charge was normally $10 for that service, but I found a free coupon code. I would have paid whatever they wanted just to see the pure joy my son got out of that one picture.
